The Effects of Adultery on Families
Spoilers Ahead! What harm can an ancestry test cause? For most families, absolutely nothing. For the Economos family, it turns their lives upside down. That’s because sometimes DNA reveals a family secret, specifically adultery. What are the effects of adultery on families? The effects are numerous, and thanks to ancestry testing, unearthing family secrets has become increasingly common.
One Reddit user described his or her experience. “The first thing my dad and I did was compare our ‘Ancestry Composition’ and I noticed it was a bit… off to say the least. He is highly British & Irish (most strongly connected to the UK) with a small bit of French & German. I am mostly Scandinavian (most strongly connected to Sweden) with over a quarter French & German and some Italian. I then went to DNA Relatives and… you guessed it. He didn’t pop up on mine and I didn’t pop up on his. There was a half sibling (sharing 26.3%) and father match however.”
There are countless stories like this one.
“Discoveries like this affect not only the person who took test, but also affects the entire family. Jenny’s four siblings had varying reactions and are themselves still processing what it all means,” genealogist Amy Johnson Crow says on her blog.
Not a Victimless Crime
Many believe adultery only affects the adulterer and his or her partner. In reality, it affects the entire extended family as well as friends, causing a loss of trust, lost of self esteem, anxiety, feelings of betrayal, self doubt and anger.
“Secrets, lies, and deceit become pervasive, hindering the ability to openly express emotions and concerns. Honest and transparent communication, which is vital for resolving conflicts and strengthening relationships, becomes elusive,” MyWellbeing says. “The lack of communication further deepens the emotional chasm within the family, making it difficult to navigate the healing process.”
In addition, legal separations and divorces cause financial hardship.
How Adultery Effects Adult Children
Many think of adultery in terms of offspring who are still children. However, adultery has lingering affects into adulthood. Families may move on, but it never becomes easy to deal with a parent’s adultery.
Here are some traits adult children in this situation experience:
- People must earn your trust, and even then it’s not complete trust
- You’ve built metaphorical walls around yourself
- Romantic partners must show how committed they are
- “I love you” is not enough on its own
- You don’t always admit your negative feelings to your partner
One step toward healing is for the adulterer to admit complete fault and acknowledge the harm caused to others. This will allow the family to address the issue and move on.
***
Have you experienced the effects of adultery on families? Leave a comment below. Comments close after 90 days.
***
Here’s the 4-1-1
This blog is a companion piece to The Rock Star’s Wife, a series about sex, family, and rock & roll. The series has elements of chick lit, romance and erotica and is best compared to The Vagina Monologues for its frank talk of sex and its consequences. The series follows Cassandra from her teenage years into her 40s as she navigates relationships (both romantic and platonic) — all with music playing a prominent roll.
Book six, Family Upheaval, debuts August 2025: Shawna never knew her parents, but DNA testing frightened her. Who knows what she might uncover? So Cassandra volunteers to take a test, too. Little does she know she’ll uncover a long kept-family secret.
Cassandra needs your help getting her story out. Join the street team to help.
Melina Druga
Melina Druga is a multi-genre author with a lifelong love of music, books and writing. She is the author of the Rock Star's Wife series, six historical fiction novels and nine nonfiction books. Based in the Midwest, Druga lives with her husband, daughter, black cat and CD collection.
You May Also Like
The Challenges of Single Parenting
How Forced Separation Affects Marriages